More monologue vs internal monologue

So ive been going over my ideas for this project, here are some pages from my sketchbook:


A character is given some really lovely looking food and told not to eat it when they clearly want to eat it. This is a difficult situation because the person who says don’t eat it leaves for a while and the character is left alone with the food. Will they eat it or not?

This is like the Haribo advert where kids can’t wait to eat the sweets in an experiment style thing –  it’s almost a total rip.


Sounds more and more silly and crazy and the kid trying not to be super proud of himself. Could be interesting..



So i kinda like this idea. I need to plan it out properly and make sure that those monologue vs internal monologue moments happen and the audience can see his true feelings about  what is happening. I expanded on the idea a little bit:


In this version of the idea Keith is a monster who lives with a human family but still has to have visits from the scientists who created him in the first place, which he doesnt like. His family tease him about it because it’s not a big deal? Still seems kind of mean when they are supposed to be caring for him.. Or is it? hmm..

Some doofy sketches:





So Keith is now a Panda? Maybe.. This idea is kinda funny because its playing on the fact that pandas are endangered and don’t reproduce so much, and the reason is because Keith doesn’t want to go procreate he just wants to be lazy. I have a feeling this idea is not original to the point of being made already..

So i’m gonna simplify..

Beginning (equilibrium): Introduced to Keith as hes spoken to by an offscreen voice, find out he’s going on vacation (or its just christmas holidays) and very happy about it. (looking forward to santa coming and getting presents and all that good stuff)

Middle (disruption): He learns that someone he doesnt like is going to be coming with him on vacation (coming to stay for christmas) and they will be forcing Keith to do things he doesn’t like. He tries not to let it dampen his mood.

End (new equilibrium): Keith cannot contain his displeasure anymore and is visibly upset about it while the offscreen voice is finding it very funny.

So Keith doesn’t have to be a panda – I need to decide what he is and design something..

Off screen voice is Keith’s dad who is making fun of him. This is more focused on Keith being not bothered more like a teenager, but pretty quickly he is unable to suppress his inner feelings so well. And in the end the offscreen voice manages to annoy Keith so much he storms off.

Things that keith doesn’t like to do that ‘she’ (his aunt) will make him do:

  • Karaoke because it embarasses him – other silly games he doesn’t like..
  • Pinch his cheeks and give him kisses all the time! – “it really hurts my cheeks” *rubs cheek from memory of pain there before.
  • Cook her famous bread pudding he hates! “eww!” *sticks tongue out!
  • Have to watch whatever she wants on tv – always boring shows.
  • Tag him in loads of awful pictures she uploads to the internet for everyone to see. (possible example of these photos)
  • He will have to wear the itchy sweater she made him wear last year! Or maybe shes made him a whole new one – even itchier than before!

When he storms off at the end Keith says ‘Forget christmas this year!!’ or something like that. “Christmas is cancelled! Tell her not to come this year!!”

Could be an end credits scene where the offscreen voice reminds Keith that she will bring him a present probably and Keiths pops quickly back on screen looking all happy and excited shouting “PRESENTSSSS!!”

Rough Script:

OV – “Hey Keith are you looking forward to the Christmas holidays?! Not long now!”

Keith – “mm yeah sure.”

OV – “Santa will be coming and the reindeers and the snowfall aaaaaand your Aunt Mabel is going to be coming again as well! How great is that?!”

Keith – *rolls his eyes “great” still sorta smiling though.

OV – “She’s looking forward to seeing you again! Do you remember what a good time you had last year!! You’ll  get to wear your amazing christmas sweater again!!”

Keith – *not looking happy.. “Cant wait..”

OV – “It might be itchy but you have to wear it or she’ll be upset..”

Keith – *scratches himself “fine” (its clearly not fine from the tone of his voice and gritted teeth)

OV – *laughing “Don’t worry buddy, i’m sure she wont be that bad this year..”

Keith – *perks up a little

OV – Just remember how much she loves you when she’s giving you lots of kisses and pinching your cheeks! *laughing

Keith – *rubs his cheek  “bah!” *throws his arms up and walks off!

OV – “Aww don’t be like that buddy..”

Keith-  *Offscreen: “CHRISTMAS IS CANCELLED!”

OV – “Shes probably going to bring you some presents as well!”

Keith – *Appears quickly back on screen “Presents??!”

The end

Its not quite finished but this is the basic animation idea finished. The banter is not quite there yet but it shows some of the internal vs external moments that i wanted:

Like when Keith is trying to act like he’s not bothered that Aunt Mabel is coming, but he really is – and its pretty obvious in the end.

It progresses  – still light family teasing – and Keith is more visibly bothered and perhaps embarrassed (maybe the Offscreen Voice reminds Keith of something he did that was silly or embarrassing and it was all caught on camera and shared around the internet – ‘people still talk about that now!!’) which results in him storming off declaring christmas is cancelled! – which is supposed to be funny, the audience is supposed to be enjoying the discomfort that keith displays – because he is overreacting and it’s silly, but have to make sure it appears that way and not like he is just being bullied or something. Its supposed to be light hearted fun, and a little but comical because Keith’s reactions are funny.


goll u.jpg

Remember that scene in Lord of the rings when Gollum is talking to himself and having an argument with himself – that could be a  really funny and interesting way to approach this animation – a character who’s a bit crazy arguing with themself.

So it would be the same character with jump cuts between the two ‘identities’ that they have as they argue with themselves. One is kind of over the top emotional and upset (in a ridiculous and silly way – over dramatic) about something and the other is sarcastic and unforgiving. The first cannot see a way forward, the second offers a bunch of different option.

A forgetful character learns that they have foolishly eaten all the chocolate spread after already toasting the bread.

“How could u do this to us?!”      –    “I was Hungry!!”

“But now i’m hungry!!”    –      “If you’d bought more the other day this wouldn’t be an issue!”

“We’re going to starve!! Now what am i going to eat?! Ive already toasted the bread!”   –    “You could use some other spread.. or beans on toast?”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS!!”   –   “You could eat it plain!”

*shocked speechless    –   *chuckling “Or you could have a bread toast sandwich..

The aim of this animation is to show a character that is having a bit of a meltdown but one that is playful and even though they are talking to themself, in fact sort of arguing, they are not really crazy – more just weird. When you are alone you sometimes can have conversations with yourself. At first the audience wont realise that there is only one character – they should think that perhaps these are identical but different people, then realise that its just one dude talking to himself – working through a problem.

(this can be done with camera angles and shots as well)

Its a silly – comical – bit ridiculous story about a guy who talks to himself to the point of having silly arguments.

Ending ideas:

  • Turns out there was chocolate spread all along.
  • He decides to have something else instead
  • He storms off while the other one finds it hilarious (were they one character..?)
  • It gets turned around onto the smug one for some reason?!

I like this idea for the silly aspect and the dialogue would be over the top and funny with bigger than life characters – or character anyway..

Monologue – I want!

Interior monologue – Well you can’t have!

Its like one side of him has no sympathy for the other – a strong personality and a weak one. He likes seeing himself suffer… lol Well he likes to take the mickey out of himself when something doesn’t go his way – it’s odd behaviour but potentially funny!

Just like with gollum this is a way to show the interior thinkings of the character. The Dialogue can be mostly spoken in his head or out loud.. Will have to storyboard the idea and really get a feel for what will work and what i want.


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